I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
