i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
