I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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