I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My pussy is not your playground.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
