After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
