Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
