Swine flu. Run for my life!
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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