You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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