Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
