At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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