oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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