Will you blow on my dice?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
