I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
