Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
