I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
