I'm going to jail i love you
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
