No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
