I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
