this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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