dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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