i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
