I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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