I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
