just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Can I color on your dick again?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
