sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
