Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize