just tell him i said nine months
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
