I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
