speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
