HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
