Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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