you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
