the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
