its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
