just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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