I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
