When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
