Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
