Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
