I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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