She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
