Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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