FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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