The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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