when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
