you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize