she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
