everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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