i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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