so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
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