Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
