Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
