walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
