you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
