He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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