Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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