Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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