Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
