whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize