Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
